At a new job.
Making new friends.
When I first came out I think I looked a bit like Rainbow Brite from the 80s because I stuck rainbows on me everywhere I could.
In my hair: check.
In my wrist: check.
On my wallet: check. (pun intended)
On my shirt: check.
On my sox.... absofreakinlutely.
Aside from pulling a Prince, changing my name on to "That Girl Formerly Known As Straight" and putting "LEZZY" right across my cheek in permanent tattoo.... I was stumped for other ways to visually communicate who I was.
Who I was?
WHO I AM.
That's the thing about coming out; you have to do again and again. Just the other day a man - a cis-gender/bio-man - asked me for my phone number. Now, don't go thinking that I think I'm *at all* that hot or that I have some crazy notion that people follow me around waiting to ask me out on a date.... because I most certainly do not (and they most certainly do not). The conversation went like this:
Him: You just need someone to whisk you away.
Me: I do not. I can pay for my own dinner, take myself to the movies and whisk myself anywhere I want.
Him: Well.... You should give me your number, so it's not so long until I see you again.
Me: You know I have two kids... right?
Him: Yup... two sweet kids.
Me: You know I'm a lesbian... right?
Him: Yup.... I don't mind.
Gee.... you don't? How special for all of us.....?
So there I was coming out to this guy..... then I posted the story on my fb page, kind of shocked and surprised that he even asked and a friend - a FRIEND who has known me for YEARS - messaged me and said.... "Oh, so you're not going to be a lesbian anymore?"
My second 'coming out' of the day... I'm really starting to re-think that face tattoo idea.....
LUCKILY for my MOC and Butch counterparts.... their identity is so much more... well - hot, totally swoony, makes me melty in all the best places..... GORGEOUS.... and for some reason when a person see's a woman present in masculine clothing they just assume that person is likely a lesbian.
Butch visibility is, imho, vital to our community and to our collective identity. They are sans the need for anything Rainbow Brite and stand among us out in society for the world to critique and comment on... and (hopefully) support.
Tonight's dance will feature a POP-UP Shop by Dapper D.
Run by a local lesbian family, these clothes are amazing and stylish and perfect for those MOC and Butch. From Polo's to accessories, to the *hottest* hoodies I personally would love to be unzipping on someone special....
Oh....and also perfect for your girlfriend to wake up in snuggled next to you.... have you seen the cleavage capability on The Girlfriend Shirt?
Owned by Vanna Pecoraro and Rasha Pecoraro, these clothes are more than a way to visibly express who you are and how you feel... it's a dream and a movement. The movement to Be Brace, Be Authentic, Be You. It's about loving who you are, whatever your size, however you identify, and putting it out there for the world to appreciate. It's a chance for those who identify MOC of Butch to avoid shopping in the men's department where clothes almost fit, but not quite.... where they get sideways glances from sales people and stares from customers.... it's a chance to dress HOW YOU FEEL... and look damn hot doing it.
So come on down and get your Dance on.... there will be Dapper D Models walking around for you to touch and feel (their clothes of course) and a Pop-Up shop for your try on clothes. We will see you there!
This past week some of the Hotflash Productions staff helped out at the BUTCH Voices SWAGGER fashion show featuring the fashions of Saint Harridan and our very own Dapper D. To say the very least: it was FREAKING AWESOME.
I'll be honest... there days where I define femme apparel as a somewhat clean t-shirt from Old Navy and a pair of jeans from Ross that have something bedazzled on the butt pocket. Mind you, femme girls have it easier than those who identify MOC, or trans*. So long as the aforementioned shirt has a plunging neckline, all I have to do is add a great push-up bra, some red lipstick and voila: insta-femme!
Our MOC counterparts, however, often struggle as their self expression might not be as simply defined by a well-placed tube of lipstick.
As we all search for who we are and where we fit in and how we want the world to see us.... for those who identify MOC, it should be as easy as buying a pair of men's pants and heading out the door. But... often, it's not that easy.
Instead... they are often met with stares when they enter the "Men's Department" of major department stores when searching for suits.
They bind and bind hoping to stuff their body into standard men's shirts.
Their desire to wear a pair of men's tailored pants is often met with the questioning eyes of under-educated sales people.
But no more:
Saint Harridan has the answer.
Mary Going and her amazing team custom tailor suits and shirts to fit your body and your gender sans the stares and uncomfortable questions.
Saint Harridan suits have been re-engineered and are MOC suits that have been custom made to comfortably fit the various shapes and sizes of our community. They offer "off the rack" suits and can accommodate any further alterations you might need.
So last week, I was there with my trusty plunging neckline and bedazzled jeans, among the tall, proud, gorgeous people donning these amazing suits and bow-ties and fun accessories.... the room was literally boiling over with an infectious confidence and only comes from not only looking your best but feeling your best. Every single suit wearing person in that room was HOT... and they knew, they felt it... they radiated it. For this wee femme: it was a total swoon-fest.
Stop by their Pop-Up Shop this coming weekend in Portland, and you will be met with kind eyes. You will be expertly measured by knowledgeable hands. You will be welcome.
You will feel great.
And.... I promise: you will look HOT.
Ps... this is their final weekend in Portland - so don't miss out!